Overlooked: The Best Missed Connections of the Week

C’mon people, it’s just bad form to pick up someone wearing a wedding ring. But this week’s Craigslisters don’t care how big that rock is. Either that, or they’re not convinced it’s a wedding ring at all. Sleazy or not? You decide.

You wanted to trade Porsches – m4w – 44 (Shell station dwntwn Bethesda)
Reply to: pers-6nxpx-1218854109@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-12, 7:50PM EDT

Friday, June 12th at approximately 7 pm at the Shell Station at the corner of Old Georgetown and Woodmont.

You: Dark (black or blue) Carrera 911, incredible smile, smelled delicious, with your Blackberry in hand, paying for a Diet Coke.

Me: Black Boxster, looking slovenly, having worked from home.

It happened so quickly I didn’t get a chance to see if that was a wedding ring on your finger or to ask you if you’d like to take a ride with me, with the top down, and with me dressed up 😉

We just puked a little.

green pants – m4w – 35 (Red Line to Union Station)
Reply to: pers-uzb6x-1229159167@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-19, 9:15AM EDT

We rode an uncrowded red line train to Union Station this morning: you were unbelievably cute in your green pants (capris, if I remember correctly). On the way out of the station you headed west and a pigeon seemed nearly to attack you. Too bad I was not heading in the same direction. I think you wore an engagement ring, which would put us in a similar situation, so this posting is even stupider than it would be otherwise, but I guess I can’t help myself. We seem to work near each other so if you find yourself feeling a little restless, well….

Sounds like the start to a beautiful (second) marriage.

Cute girl with Cute Pit Bull – m4w – 31 (Braddock Road)
Reply to: pers-tg889-1227101336@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-17, 10:35PM EDT

I noticed your dog with its head hanging out your window then i noticed you. I saw you had a ring on your ring finger but it didnt look like a wedding ring, so if it wasnt lets talk.

What’s the difference between a pitbull and a hockey mom? She’s married!

I never hit on married women – 32 (Bethesda)
Reply to: pers-mmxb9-1220562447@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-14, 12:10AM EDT

Really. I don’t. And I didn’t. But you seemed to be all into hitting on me. How many times do I have to pretend like I’m not interested before you get it?

It was Tommy Joe’s in B-town and I was just decompressing a bit before going home. Apparently, it was ladies night out.

I won’t hit on married women. But I’m curious about you.

Never. No, really, never.

backyard bar & grill – m4w – 34 (Chantilly)
Reply to: pers-x4t4e-1221478330@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-14, 6:07PM EDT

Saw you again, but this time w/ 2 friends. One with black hair I’ve seen before, the taller one was new. You were wearing a jean skirt, same beautiful smile and blonde hair…you wear a ring but I never see you with a guy? Care for some company?

Me: black hair, white shirt, jeans, smiled at you a few times, you have smiled back before.

And we thought “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” was a bad pick up line.

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Jessica Sidman

Food Editor

Jessica Sidman covers the people and trends behind D.C.’s food and drink scene. Before joining Washingtonian in July 2016, she was Food Editor and Young & Hungry columnist at Washington City Paper. She is a Colorado native and University of Pennsylvania grad.