Craigslist Adventures: Seeking a Wedding Date

In a story that is sadly not an exact retread of the 2005 rom-com starring Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney, a helpful reader passed along a link to a Craigslist ad posted by a man seeking a wedding date for this weekend. The poster, a self-proclaimed “clean man” in Northwest DC, is seeking a young-but-not-too-young female companion for a celebration in Lexington. He helpfully lists some pros for this situation, including:

—Free food and booze

—The opportunity to wear a dress

—Being able to “pop n lock it” with him on the dance floor

—The fact that “you only yolo once”

However, he fails to address the potential downsides, such as:

—It’s bad form to randomly show up at the wedding of someone you’ve never met (hey, that’s also the plot of a 2005 movie!) 

—Once you show up at said wedding, you’ll have to either a) invent a backstory that’s both believable and simple enough to remember after enjoying copious amounts of that free booze, or b) explain to everyone all night how you are there because you responded to a Craigslist ad and probably get a lot of looks like this.

—Also what if you catch the bouquet? AWKward, amirite?

—Also come on, man, “you only yolo once” is redundant

To apply, all you have to do is e-mail him a selfie, a résumé, and your favorite color—you can keep your medical and criminal histories private.

Do you know this guy? Did you reply to this ad? Are you the one getting married this weekend? Let us know how it turns out in the comments!

Tanya Pai