Virginia Man Offers Nationals Playoff Tickets in Exchange for a Threesome

The Washington Nationals sold out tickets to the National League Division Series in 17 minutes last week, throwing hordes of fans to the secondary market. Tickets for the first game, on Friday, start at $73.90 on StubHub, but there are some offers that the prim-and-proper ticket vendor won’t carry, like this one, which is currently available on Craigslist’s Northern Virginia site:

I have two Diamond Club tickets for Fridays opening playoff game. The tickets include all you can drink beer & wine as well as all you can eat gourmet food. I am willing to part with these tickets to you and a friend in exchange for a threesome (two women only). I am not some old gross dude, actually 24 and athletic. I just cant go to the game and don’t really need the extra money, and have always wanted to take place in a threesome. Please send 2-3 photos of you and your friend, so I can see what we’re working with.

This is a no strings attached deal.

You read that right. Some dude is offering premium tickets in exchange for horny adolescent wish fulfillment, but, don’t worry, he swears he’s actually athletic and totally not gross. (Not that he backed up this claim with a photograph of himself in the ad.) Diamond Club seats, located behind home plate, were $225 each when playoff tickets went on sale. This guy must be of some means if he doesn’t care about getting back his $450. He doesn’t say why he’s skipping the Nationals game, but we’re guessing it’s not to attend Yom Kippur services.

Find Benjamin Freed on Twitter at @brfreed.

Benjamin Freed

Staff Writer

Benjamin Freed joined Washingtonian in August 2013 and covers politics, business, and media. He was previously the editor of DCist and has also written for Washington City Paper, the New York Times, the New Republic, Slate, and BuzzFeed. He lives in Adams Morgan.