Hell Yes, Umbrellas Are for the Snow

Listen, we all known Ben Freed hates Bao Bao and is therefore not a rational person, so it’s not entirely fair to gang up on him. But for real—this no umbrellas-in-the-snow business is wack. And I would know, since I spent the first 22 years of my life in Seattle. If anyone has the right to be a snob about umbrella usage, it’s me. I use an umbrella in the rain. I use one in the snow. I used one this morning during my commute into the office. And you know what? It made that commute a lot easier for this reason: I am a woman. With hair. And I don’t really feel like I should have to justify or explain beyond that.

Actually, wait, one more thing: I’m a woman who carries a purse. A leather one that didn’t cost nothing. My coat and my hat don’t protect it. My umbrella does.

You know when I don’t use an umbrella? In the wind. That’s a pointless battle waged only by suckers.

And I’m no sucker. But Ben Freed might be.

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Marisa M. Kashino

Senior Editor

Marisa M. Kashino joined Washingtonian in 2009 and was a senior editor until 2022.